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I am extremely worried about my 10 YO bad behavior – Times of India

Posted: December 28, 2020 at 9:59 am


Query: Hi, I am the Mother of a 10 yr old boy and 1.8 yr old girl. My son is very active always. I am really stressed regarding his bad behavior. I am a working mom and my husband is jobless and I live with my in laws. Staying at home makes him watch full-time TV and gadgets and harmful activities. He is neve interested to write or learn or to listen to any good habit as his school provides work every day. And we try very hard to make him write or learn or channelize his energy in positive manner. He always likes to play or walk around. He cant sit in a place for few minutes. Distractions, destruction and diversions! He also has very bad eating habits. Reciprocating in opposite way with an answer for everything we say to do or dont. I dont know how to handle him. He was never interested in his curriculum and extra activities. He is always interested in playing sports and is good at it but we can't match our energy with his energy. He badly need good friends but because of good children not around and some who are good are not allowed to play due to my son bad behavior they are not allowed. Kindly give me suggestions to make him becoming normal. Answer by Dr. Rachna K Singh: Hi, thanks for writing to us.This pandemic has been difficult for most of us. However, we often overlook the effect it has had onchildren. While most school going children are having a tough time with the school from home, children especially in the range of 9-12 years are having even a more a very difficult time. According to developmental psychology, this pre-teen age is when they start venturing out independently and establish their identities as individuals in their social circles. Hence it is important for their social and cognitive development that they have new experiences and navigate through situations on their own. However, due to the unfortunate pandemic, children are now being forced to stay away from friends and instead are being forced to be more dependent on family. This has caused many children to feel confused and frustrated resulting in acting out. Online schooling too has become a source of frustration for children. For all these years, they have associated home as a place of relaxation, where they can leave their school worries behind. Being at home for them meant that school is over. Now, having to do classwork, homework, housework, and play all in the same 4 walls can make them all the more confused. Luckily, there are a few ways to counter these effects. Getting your child to follow a schedule is necessary. Make a schedule with the child, taking in account their suggestions and preferences. This will allow them to cut down on their technology time as well. Clearly distinguish study and playtime and make sure one does not spill into the other. Let the child leave the house in the evenings. Avoid crowded parks if necessary, even cycling around the house, playing badminton, or running around outside the house will help them feel rejuvenated and release all the energy that could otherwise go into disruptive activities. Let the child meet other relatives, have video calls with school friends or cousins. When the child misbehaves, it is important to understand why the child is behaving disruptively instead of simply punishing the child. Try to have a conversation with him. This will teach the child to express his emotions verbally instead of through hurtful actions. Most importantly, do not make him feel like he is a bad child. Children may internalize such comments. Reassure him that he is good and loved. This will take time and a lot of effort. Remember the pandemic has been hard for him as well. Spending time with him, letting him take initiative around the house, and giving him some freedom to be inquisitive will help in the long run.Hope this helps. Feel free to book a session with us. Stay home and stay safe.Dr. Rachna Khanna SinghHOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, GurgaonRelationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management ExpertDirector - The Mind & Wellness Clinic, New Delhi Director - Ngo ServesammanIf you have a parenting query to share, send it to us at times.parenting@gmail.com

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I am extremely worried about my 10 YO bad behavior - Times of India

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